Halloween Estronomicon

Ok, the pdf of Screamingdreams' Halloween Edition of Estronomicon is live! Yes it will jump off the page and eat your face, here:
Eat my face!

Estronomicon Halloween Issue

Screamingdreams has released the Halloween Issue of Estronomicon and it's free here: OOPS! the link I had here was for the authors only, so they could check their drafts, hehe. When it's ready for release I'll re-link it, for those of you who already downloaded a copy, I hope there aren't any errors and you don't go selling them on Ebay if there are.... :-)

There are some great stories to read and excellent graphics to view, Steve's put together yet another fine Ezine, well worth a visit and it's all free. Hope you enjoy my story, let me know if you do or don't.

Well done Argentina

I haven't updated my blog in a while, mostly because things have been slow and there hasn't been much news. I have enjoyed The Rugby World Cup, especially the Argentinians who brought a refreshing uplift to the series. They had a well-deserved third place and I think would be a formidable team should they ever get the opportunity to play in The Five Nations Tournament.

Other news: Got a horror short story coming out in the Halloween Edition of Estronomicon from Screamingdreams. It's called 'Here we go again' and I'll link it once it's published.

The Empathy Effect

Well, got the first draft done of 'The Empathy Effect' it's a novella of about 44,500 words (thats about 155 pages I guess) and is more of a 'slipstream' story than 'Flames of Herakleitos' which was a dark/sf/fantasy novel. It's a story about a manic few days in the life of Cooper Jones who is a young man living in today's Swansea. A bit of a loner, ground down by a sense of shame (for not doing enough to save a school friend when he was a youngster from being brutally murdered) he seeks solace in drinking himself into oblivion every night. Add to that he is a Traffic Warden and the fact he has a strange 'power' which enables him to 'sense' what people are feeling, sensing, believing, even their desires or emotions. His power, however, is erratic and manifests itself when he least expects it, this leads to a pretty chaotic lifestyle which only gets worse when he gets setup as the fall guy in a robbery, kidnapping, murder and a dog-baiting ring.

Can Cooper stay sober enough to extricate himself ?
Can he save his girlfriend from a physcopath?

Can he stop the dog he's baby-sitting from savaging his family jewels?

Can he finally get some control over his empathic powers?

Perhaps, but first he has to save himself from drowning because someone's bound him to a lower stanchion of Mumbles Pier... and the tide is coming in...

As I've said, it's the first draft, perhaps when I've edited it a couple of dozen times it might get a little thicker or even thinner, but hopefully all the typos will be cleaned out.

Then all I have to do is find someone willing to publish it, hopefully because it's a little more 'mainstream' than straight fantasy or science fiction it might be easier to find a home for it.

Here's the opening, see what you think:

THE EMPATHY EFFECT

Chapter 1 June 13th 2006

You’d think if anyone of all people could have seen it coming it would have been a guy blessed with the ability to imagine oneself as another person or even feel that other person’s emotions. That guy that could thereby foresee the probable outcome of the other person’s actions before they occurred.
Well, you would, wouldn’t you? I’d think so too and usually I do foresee these actions. Nevertheless, when you see me trussed up like this – and bear in mind its not even Christmas yet so the possibility that I’m impersonating a turkey awaiting the oven should be discounted – then it doesn’t leave many alternatives to think about, does it?
Oh, now you are thinking, perhaps he’s a sadomasochist. He’s the type who gets off being wrapped to one of the support legs of Mumbles Pier with industrial strength cling film whilst the incoming tide laps gently around his crotch and his friend’s little dog – which he was taking care of – has been thrown into the water with a brick attached to its collar. Or you might think he’s the type who enjoys being told that his girlfriend has been made to swallow a stomach full of rat-poison-filled condoms, wrong again. Could I be filming the next James Bond Blockbuster? Check it out. Is that a camera over there? Is it capturing the simulated horror upon my face as I act out Bond’s cliff-hanging opening scene as a scantily clad, nubile young woman surfaces between my legs with a wicked smile and a knife between her teeth then cuts through the wrapping and saves me?
Then roll the opening captions!
I wish!
Some human beings have the capacity – some say through a gift, I say through a bloody curse – by means of a sophisticated and imaginative process, to be able to place themselves in another human being’s position and therefore sense how they feel, act, or react. This capacity, whether or not you want to go with the ‘gift’ word usually has its roots set deep within the recipient from an early age, and through time, develops as its host matures, regardless of the fact if the owner of this gift nurtures it or denies it. Don’t ask me how it works. I don’t have a clue, but work it does. Perhaps the ‘gifted’ have that little extra which normal humans lack. I’m not talking about magic or anything like that. No, I like to think it’s more along the lines of recognizing emotions in others on a finer scale than ‘normal people’. Perhaps we see facial expressions, body movements, even the tone of a voice; I’d even go as far as saying the way a person smells can give the likes of someone like me an insight into how that person is feeling inside and how he or she will react to certain stimuli. So, if you want me to put a finger on what it is I do, or perhaps feel, then I can’t answer you because it’s just as much a of mystery to me now as it was twenty-something years ago when it first manifested itself.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, I haven’t wandered around all this time in the dark not understanding or seeking to understand why I’m different. I’ve been prodded and poked by the best. Doctors, psychiatrists, priests, you name ‘em, I’ve been poked by ‘em. They all more or less come out with the same word for me.
My name is Cooper Jones, and I’m an empath. Oh, and yes, the water is now up around my neck and I am going to start drowning soon.
See?
I told you I was empathic…

New Covey Awards Result & Neil Gaiman Result!

Sadly 'Flames' was extinguished in The New Covey Awards for best cover art by Aleka Nakis' 'Eyes of the Dead' congrats to Aleka. Many thanks to all who voted for Steve's artwork, much appreciated.

However, I had a bit of luck with a competition in The Guardian by winning a runner-up prize in a Neil Gaiman comp of a copy of his film tie-in book 'Stardust', received the confirmation email today from Becky Fincham, Publicity Manager for Headline Publishing Group.

Thanks Guardian and Headline :)

Vote for 'Flames' Book Cover

Steve Upham of Screamingdreams is the artist that designed the cover for Flames of Herakleitos and is in the running for an award for best cover on this site: Covey Awards I'd appreciate anyone reading my blog to take a trip over there and voting for him, the reward is just kudos and a winner's icon to add to his website but it would be nice for him to get some recognition for the cover :)

Fiction-Online Ezine (Story of mine there)

Stuart Tracey the editor of the webzine FICTION ONLINE has published a SF short of mine 'Do We Not Bleed?' in their September issue #4 and the download of the whole magazine can be found here : download and it's free! It is a PDF file so you'll need a reader like Adobe. This issue is a fat 29 pages long and has other shorts from : Sarah Hughes - Gareth L Powell - Andrew Knighton. It also has book and game reviews. Stuart is still open to submissions so if you have something you think would catch his eye go take a look at his site.

Are you Bionic?

Found this little test thingy, shows if you are Bionic or not:


See What You're Made Of - Visit The Official Site

As you can see I'm only 41% Bionic, so that must be my capped teeth, my reading glasses and my Borg Hearing Aid...

D'oh!

Found this site last night and I have to say the resemblance is remarkable!

http://simpsonizeme.com/

Insight into Small Press Publishing

Steve Upham of ScreamingDreams Publishing has done a great PDF ezine regarding the trials and tribulations of adding a print publishing side to his Ezine Estronomicon. It's a free PDF and well worth a read here is the link: Free PDF You'll need Acrobat or something to read it.

Two books worth reading!

I don't usually review or recommend books on my blog, but I do have Library Thing down the side to show what I'm reading or have read etc. However, I've just finished two books which I'd like to endorse to anyone who enjoys a fast paced fantasy and they are:

The Blade Itself

and

Before They Are Hanged both by Joe Abercrombie

Although I normally read SF, Neal Asher, Gibson, Reynolds, Richard Morgan, etc etc, now and then I enjoy reading something in the fantasy genre, could be because in my younger days I played D&D turn based board games with a gang of drunken friends and had some great times, could be because I like MMORPGs too and they are mostly fantasy-based. Anyway, it was a joy reading these two books and I have a feeling that Joe might have delved into the D&D & MMORPG worlds now and then too. Both books are of the non-stop page turning variety and should be read in sequential order, the third, and I think final book is due out March 2007 ( a long time to bloody wait!)

His characters have a flair to them that has you rooting even for the nastier of the bunch, take Glokta the torturer for example. A character that was once the best swordsman in the land but now crippled through being tortured himself. Glokta has embraced the only skill left to him, inflicting pain, seeking out confessions (whether or not the person has done it!) with an expertise born from an intimate knowledge of suffering, you can't help but like him!

Logen, the barbarian who seems to have death sitting on his shoulder, wherever he goes bodies are usually left in his wake, broken, torn and always bereft of life (and that's not only his enemies, his friends can also end up the same way)

There are loads more of well-drawn characters within Joe's novels and even if you are not a fantasy genre reader I'd still say give these stories a try, you may become converted!

Some more stuff published

Had some more of my work published lately, firstly had a poem of mine - 'The Grapes Of Wrath' published in the summer issue #15 of Whispers of Wickedness Magazine (also have a short story on their website)

And the other good news is I had a set of four SF/SFF haiku printed in Hahaku a collection of senryu-scifaiku with a smile, edited by Teri Santitoro and published by Sam's Dot Publishing, and best of all I got paid for them! A free copy of the little book and $5.

Big Ben

The recent news that Big Ben will be silent for four to six weeks brought to mind a poem of mine which features the old clock and as I haven't posted a poem or short story here in a while I thought I'd put this one up for perusal.

Big Ben tolls the sombre voice of midnight

Big Ben tolls the sombre voice of midnight,
Awakens pigeons from their slumber.
Invites dank fog which follows roiling tide,
Up the River Thames, creeping, seeking.

Tendrils of misty vapour climb embankments,
Explore abutments of silent bridges,
Reach into gas-lamp illumed alleyways.
Which concede to its grasp and darken.

As the last knell fades into oblivion
So too does the sparkle of life in her eyes.
The mist reaches her now, inquisitive, pervading.
But to her, the dewy blanket comes as a friend.

Gently it covers the once warm, now still form,
Whose last movement is but the slowing,
Dripping, coagulating pool of blood, whose steam
Joins it fellow vapour, and explores onwards.

It writhes now, as he stands, wipes the tool of his handiwork,
And returns the blade to the leather doctor’s bag.
He surveys his great masterpiece.
A pique of displeasure crosses his face,

As London’s smog, in its shame, tries to hide his art.
Far off a shrill whistle sounds; a shutter closes.
Her whimpered cry, even though stifled, had found ears.
With a last, longing look, he turns; black cloak swirls, churns,

Her wispy blanket, parts, saddened to show what he called art,
What she called terror and unbearable pain,
The police, in their ignorance, shall call it ‘A Mystery’
History writes… ‘Jack the Ripper’s first victim’.

He leaves now, trailed by the mist too frail to hold him.
It condenses on the gaunt metal railings,
On the shimmering gas-lamp; it turns to tears that fall on her face
Only the fog knows him; but it can do nothing, but weep.

The Swallow Flies!

Six years later and the Doretti is ready for the road. The hood was made by a local chap in Swansea. He had some mohair material which was left over from a Mercedes soft top and that did very nicely, thank you. His recovering of the seats was pretty good too. Managed to source a brand new windscreen and after searching high and low I even managed to find a supplier for the unique rubber sealing needed to hold it in place. Things were looking up!

With the help of my late father-in-law, Tony Rinaldi, we jury-rigged a tripod hoist in my garage and with a great deal of effort and luck managed to get the engine into the car. It wasn’t long before the straight four TR2 power unit was rumbling away sweetly, a great note and throaty roar burbled its way out of the straight-through exhaust system and woke all the neighbours up.

The first test drive was around the little estate I live on and within days the car was ready for its first M.O.T. in decades. It passed first time. We had a lot of fun with the Doretti even though we never did any long distance driving in her. It’s strange, but after spending all that time and money on the car it worried me each time I took her out! I hated each stone chip, each damned fly that spattered against the paintwork, heaven forbid if someone scratched or bumped her! Even when I cleared most of the rubbish out of my single garage it was a struggle getting her in and out and I wondered how the hell I had ever managed to restore her in such a confined space, needs must, I suppose.

When the time came to the parting of our ways it was a sad but also happy moment (although to look at the photo of me with the money you’d be hard pressed to see the happy part!), sad because the car had been such a big part of my life for quite a few years, but happy because I knew it was going to a good home, Jill Royle, the daughter of one of the owners of an original Doretti dealership. In 2000 Jill sold STT 24 to Eddy de Heus of Loosdrecht in Holland to make room for an extremely rare Doretti Mk2 (HRF 60). As far as I know, Eddy, who is a passionate Doretti collector still has STT 24 and I was extremely pleased to see that he’d even taken the car on a jaunt through the Dordogne. Although I never got to drive her to exotic places like that I feel that a part of me is still with her, bonne chance STT 24…

Verging on the Mediocre

THANKS FOR YOUR HARD-EARNED CASH BOB!

Well I finally had enough today and booted my telephone and broadband provider into touch. I'm quite a patient bloke, can spend hours watching the tip of a fishing rod waiting for a bite, knowing full well there's no worm on the hook, but it's the thought that counts... there's mind over matter for you. Anyway, mind over matter, that brings me back to my ISP and 'phone, they don't mind charging me for two telephone lines for over a year even though I only have one. They don't mind charging me for receiving a TV package which I cancelled in March because I couldn't get the channels I was promised. They didn't mind disconnecting me immediately and picking up their set top box. It didn't matter that they kept on charging me for a service I can't receive anymore.

Back to the telephone... so, two lines for over a year, Customer Support worked out a refund of £200 or so was due, had my July bill today, had a refund of £10.37p hmm.

Ok deep breath, let's make a cuppa and start dialling... got through to CS after about 30mins and explained for the nth time the problem, was put on hold. Fast forward nearly an hour and I'm told I need to get transferred. I phone BT and arrange to get my old BT line re-activated, it's due to go live 6th August, my number will stay the same. Then I'm going to go with the Sky package (already have TV) now for phone and broadband. Get through to my original ISP again, wait in cue, write a 100,000 word novel, get through to an Asian lady, she asks me all that I've explained previously, I do so. Get put on hold, this time for over an hour, finally it dawns on me that no-one is going to come back on the line, I put down the receiver.

Need to make a call to my Mum, pick up the phone, it's dead. Can't ring out or receive calls. Just finished writing my letter of complaint and my copy to Ofcom, now waiting for my ISP to boot me out too.

The thing that compounds the insult is that I was a beta-tester for the first cable modems and broadband connection for this particular ISP and have been with them since the start... didn't I say I was patient? Well I don't mind, they can be as mediocre as they want from now on, doesn't matter to me anymore...

Oh, by the way, they did say:

An engineer is going to call to disconnect you and take away the set top box on 25th August...

I replied:

Ahem.. this was done back in March...

Doesn't matter sir, we'll send an engineer out on 25th August to disconnect you and collect the box...

The non-existent box? The one you disconnected and removed in March?

An engineer will collect it on 25th of March...

Sheeshh... just as well I don't have any hair to tear out isn't it?

And mediocre is probably too kind a word to use:

mediocre =
1.
of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.
2.
rather poor or inferior.

One of my shorts on Whispers of Wickedness

Whispers have published one of my shorts on their site, it's a knee-length pair that I wear during the winter when it gets a bit nippy... oops, sorry that's the wrong submission, was thinking of another site...

Here's the link to the Whispers one: Story

Here's an updated page from Screaming Dreams with a couple of reviews and a shopping cart thingy for anyone who'd like to order a copy of 'Flames' (signed by Steve and me) you'll have to click on paperback books and navigate to the correct page, couldn't link directly, Steve's been tweaking his site.

The cat's away Part 3

Well, I haven't been able to update the blog for over a week because utter chaos ensued after my last entry. My daughter ended up in hospital with pancreas problems and had to have surgery (she's on the mend now) thank goodness. My grandson went down with a virus, it's called 'Slapped Face Syndrome' and it truly looks as if someone has been belting him around the cheeks, they are red and rash-covered, it's contagious so I suppose my grand-daughter will come down with it too. And, the next invalid, Nia, my dog, has been really ill too. Remember I mentioned she was sick? Probably due to the Chinese meal left-overs? Well, I was wrong, believe it or not she had pancreas problems, yes, you've read it right, the same sort of thing as my daughter (who says lightning never strikes twice?) Last week-end the dog was really ill, took her to my vet on Sunday and they gave her some injections (one of which was a pain-killer). Got her home and tried to get her out of my car and she collapsed, saliva running from her mouth like a tap, my neighbour, a nurse, advised me to get her back to the vet ASAP. Got back there and it was closed. Had to go to an emergency vet where they thought she had a reaction to the pain-killer (which was opiate-based) they kept her over-night and gave her IV. She's been ill all week and Friday I had to drive her to a specialist in Bristol who did scans, she has Pancreatitis and a heart murmur, she's slowly recovering but has to go on a strict no-fat diet. I haven't got her insured and this week believe it or not I've spent over £1000 getting her sorted out.
What a bloody week, I just hope things have reached their peak now and normality looms large on the horizon!

Tha cat's away Part 2

Hmm... bachelorhood isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Experimented with the washing machine and managed to get quite a lot of my T-shirts, trousers, sweat-shirt, covered in loads of pink fluffy stuff which seems to have migrated from a bath-towel. The bath-towel looks kind of bald now but I've got colour co-ordinated clothes, I just don't dare wear them...
Next thing that went wrong was ordering too much Chinese from the takeaway, my eyes were bigger than my stomach, but being a generous bloke I thought I'd share out the remains with my two faithful hounds, they both gobbled it up. However, late last night I awoke to the sound of projectile vomiting (good job they had elected to sleep in the conservatory instead of on the bed) however, Nia, the biggest, was on the settee and managed to pebble dash it, all the cushions, a large part of the wall, the floor and my other dog. I had to hose most of the stuff off and then chucked it all into the washine machine again, I've got a feeling the washing machine doesn't like me because it wouldn't start, then it wouldn't bloody open either for me to get the vomit-covered stuff out. I threatened it with the sweeping brush which caused Nia to vomit again, this time in the kitchen and it worked. So all clean again but I wonder what next adventure lies in wait for me? Think I'll do the ironing....

Whilst the cat's away...

I'm a bachelor for a couple of weeks whilst the wife visits relatives in Italy so I'm doing all the things I get told off about doing when she's here, for example, I'm eating all those rubbishy ready-made foods which all Italian wives frown at. You know the ones, they tempt you even though you know there's more goodness in the packaging than in the product. I've let the dogs sleep on the bed! I've 'pruned' runaway bushes in the garden (which I'm not allowed to touch) (they could be dead now) shhh... I've taken up a 10 day free trial of World of Warcraft (Burning Crusade add-on) and resurrected my level 60 Warrior - Cormac - yeah, yeah I'm a fan of Neal Asher - and am clicking away killing mobs, npcs, other players (Horde characters) though mostly I'm getting my arse handed to me as I'm not as quick as youngsters that play this game, there should be bonuses for old giffers like me...
I've had Classic FM rattling my windows with my Hi-Fi turned up to OUCH! When I've had time to watch the telly I've watched programs I like! Sheesh, now when I look at it all it seems pretty mundane stuff, where are the parties? Where are the strippers? Where are the kegs of beer? I must be getting old... Oh well, time for dinner, now let's see, will it be that Chinesy thingy with all the coloured bits in or that weird-looking curry? Hmm... or I could pop around to the pub and have a steak and a pint...

Update on the Pratchett Play

Well I went to see The Truth by Terry Pratchett in The Dylan Thomas Theatre, Swansea with my wife and daughter on Friday night and really enjoyed it.
The adaptation by Stephen Briggs was as good as I expected (already seen one by him before) All cast members gave a good performance and Brian Willis was outstanding as Mr.Pin, one of the hit-men, in fact I thought he was too good, makes you wonder what his day job is...
I'd really have liked to have taken some photos but it wasn't allowed, oh well...